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A Trial By Choice

I stood outside the entrance and looked through the caged windows. For miles upon miles all that could be seen was the dark hallway. It stretched far beyond what the eye could see and the walls seeped with sour water the whole way down. I knew when I went in it was going to take awhile. I knew it was going to be dark and cold. I knew I would find no comfort there and no one would be able to come to my side. Doors would line the walls all the way through. Here and there I would find them and I had the keys to each one, jingling them in my pocket. I knew I could go through anyone of them and somehow find my way out of the dark tunnel if I desired to. I could step out and see the light if I wanted to, and I wouldn’t have to go back in- but I knew the sunshine that each door promised would only be for a season, and before long, the painful reminder of finishing the task would grip me. Darkness would soon loom and I would once again be forced back into the hallway. The sunshine wasn’t real anyway. It was temporary and false, made to deceive me and get my eyes off the journey. There would be no true brightness at all, but I knew I had to go through. Inside of my heart there was a glittering of what might rest on the other side. There was a twinkling of light underneath everything else that was going through my mind, pushing me through, whispering “It’s on the other side.” I had to do it. I had to get there and obtain true light. I had to lay hold on the glorious promise at the very end. I must go. It was a trial by choice. I stepped through the doorway. Here I was. I could turn around right then, but the glimmer of hope pushed me on. I had to get there. The journey could take months, years, decades… there was no telling how long I would be in there, but a voice pushed me forward. “Walk…” I took three slow steps and gathered my surroundings. No end to the tunnel could be seen, and the walls were narrow, seemingly smaller in some places than others. It was going to be hard. People would say I had no right to be in there. They didn’t know what was on the other side. They couldn’t see, but I knew. I saw it in my heart. The voices from the outside cry out loudly, “Turn back!” and a soft whisper nudges me on, “Keep walking.” The damp floors reeked of malodorous water, must, and mildew. I was separated from a peaceable life in here. I could not see my Saviors face. So many times, it was seeing His face in the trial that got me through, but not this one. I saw it nowhere; still I held the remembrance of Him safely inside, refusing to let it go. I knew one day the tears would end. One day the turmoil and confusion of this life was going to cease and I would stand in a land of victory. More voices rang out to me through the echoing hallway from the outside. I couldn’t see them, and they couldn’t see me, yet they knew exactly what to say. “It’s not worth it” they cry, and the soft whispers come once again. “Don’t forget”. I hung my head and it spoke once more, “Keep walking.” Things arise here and there along the way. The tunnel is one trial I have to go through all the way. It’s not my journey home, but a trial on my way to a victory here on earth. God has a promise here. As long as I’m going through the hardness, other trials come and accompany it and I’m just listening for the voice. “Keep walking”. The calling and vision of God for my life waits in splendor on the other side. Friends and family will leave me, enemies will persecute me, people will experience hurt, turmoil will arise, and it’s going to be long, cold, dark, and lonely, yet I know the voice of one who promised me, and it speaks daily. “Keep walking… Just keep going Becky.” And I am again assured that it’ll all be worth it.Tags: , , -Becky Nichols

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